#239 Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About Spending Money ft. Peter Kim, MD

Let’s Talk About Money Guilt

The podcast begins with Peter Kim introducing the concept of money guilt—how people often feel bad after making significant purchases, even when they can afford them. This feeling can manifest as justification or defensiveness when discussing these expenditures with others.

Elaborating on this, Peter shares a story of a friend flying first class with his children, only to feel compelled to justify it by saying it wasn’t a regular occurrence. Similarly, Peter discusses his own experiences, such as explaining his Tesla purchase by emphasizing its fuel efficiency and long-term savings. These examples illustrate how common it is to feel judged for spending, even on things that bring joy or practical benefits.

“For example, I was talking to a friend… when he said first class, I was thinking, that is awesome… But in his mind, I think he felt immediately judged.” – Peter Kim, MD

Root Causes of Money Guilt

Peter identifies two primary reasons for money guilt: the fear of judgment and the scarcity mindset. The fear of judgment arises from societal pressures and cultural norms that promote frugality, especially in professions like medicine, where financial responsibility is highly valued. People worry about being perceived as irresponsible or extravagant, leading to self-censorship or defensive behavior around spending.

The second reason, the scarcity mindset, relates to an internal fear of financial insecurity. This mindset, shaped by upbringing and personal experiences, leads people to believe money is finite and spending it will diminish their safety net. These beliefs, often subconscious, make letting go of money emotionally challenging, even when the expenditure is justified or planned.

“We’re worried because we have this belief that money is finite… it really is tied to the way you grew up, to the culture and community you’re in.” – Peter Kim, MD

Reframing Spending with Joy

Peter introduces the concept of “joyful spending,” which reframes expenditures as investments in happiness and meaningful experiences. By aligning spending with personal values and priorities, individuals can reduce guilt and increase satisfaction. Examples include family vacations, personal hobbies, and charitable giving, all of which create lasting joy and memories.

Peter emphasizes intentionality in spending, suggesting that aligning expenditures with one’s values diminishes guilt. For instance, he shares how spending on a Broadway show and sightseeing in New York with his family was an investment in joyful experiences, leading to cherished memories they continue to discuss.

“We spent a good amount of money there… but I will never regret that money that I spent because it creates some amazing experiences with my family.” – Peter Kim, MD

Strategies to Overcome Money Guilt

To combat money guilt, Peter outlines several strategies, including reframing spending as an investment, detaching from judgment, and maintaining financial clarity. By seeing spending as a way to enhance well-being or support others, individuals can view their expenditures in a positive light. Tracking finances and knowing one’s financial position fosters confidence, ensuring spending aligns with goals and does not lead to insecurity.

Peter also advocates for not judging others’ spending choices, as everyone has unique values. He shares that while he values memorable experiences over material goods, his wife finds joy in fashion. Accepting differing priorities reduces external and internal judgment, enabling more freedom in personal financial decisions.

“If we can try to detach from judgment of other people… our own choices become a lot freer.” – Peter Kim, MD

Final Thoughts on Money as a Tool

Peter concludes by encouraging listeners to view money as a tool to create their ideal lives, invest in joy, and align with their values. He underscores the importance of celebrating spending that brings happiness, whether through experiences, personal well-being, or community impact. Money, earned through precious time, should be spent wisely and unapologetically.

Reflecting on personal growth, Peter recalls the shift in his mindset, from feeling guilt-ridden about expenditures to embracing intentional spending. He reminds listeners to appreciate the opportunities their income affords, celebrating wins without fear of judgment or regret.

Ultimately, he challenges listeners to identify one recent joyful purchase and cherish its positive impact.

“I believe… life is way too short to feel guilty about spending money… Spend it well, spend it with joy, and don’t ever apologize for it.” – Peter Kim, MD